I opened my mailbox and found a disk labeled “SPONGEBOB” in red marker. Next to it was a letter that read, “Congratulations! You are one of the luckiest individuals chosen to watch a lost episode of Spongebob Squarepants! Watch the episode, IF YOU DARE!” Well, nothing looks suspicious here. So I played the disk in my DVD player. The episode just started. There was no Spongebob Squarepants theme song or beginning credits.The episode was titled, “Squidward’s Perfect Day” and there was no music playing in the background.
The episode started with Spongebob walking to Patrick. Spongebob called out to Patrick but he did not hear him. His back was facing Spongebob as if he was ignoring him. Spongebob walked closer to Patrick to tap on his shoulder and this time, Patrick turned around with an angry look on his face. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore, Spongebob!” Patrick said. “But Patrick…” Spongebob whimpered. “NO, SPONGEBOB! I HATE YOU!” and he walked away. I was shocked. Spongebob and Patrick are supposed to be best friends. Why aren’t they friends anymore? Spongebob dropped down onto his knees and wept. In the background, I noticed Squidward standing behind Spongebob chuckling. His laugh was not nasally like in the normal episodes. It sounded very demonic. He just stood there looking all creepy and chuckled at the crying sponge. The screen cut to black and after a few seconds, another scene started.
Spongebob was at the Krusty Krabs talking to Mr. Krabs about Patrick abandoning him. Mr. Krabs placed his claw on Spongebob’s shoulder to comfort him or so I thought. Suddenly, Mr. Krabs shoved Spongebob into the wall and began to punch Spongebob with his claws. Hyper-realistic blood spurted out of Spongebob’s nose and mouth. Spongebob collapsed onto the floor unconscious and a puddle of blood formed near his head. I tried not to vomit. After about 3 seconds, it cut to Squidward staring at me with those blood red hyper-realistic eyes. He had the scariest grin I have ever seen.
The screen cut to black again and this time, it showed Spongebob walking to Sandy’s house. He had a sad look on his beaten face as he walked very slowly. After finally arriving at Sandy’s dome, Spongebob knocked on the door and Sandy let him in. Her face showed no emotions which was frightening. Before Spongebob could enter the dome himself, Sandy grabbed Spongebob and dragged him into her house with force. Spongebob screamed, “Sandy! What are you doing?!” Sandy did not say a word. She just dragged him as the yellow sponge screamed and struggled in her strong grip. Why is Sandy dragging him? I wondered. My eyes widened with shock when I found out why. In her dome was a large blender. She tossed Spongebob into the machine and pressed the ON button. It showed Spongebob getting cut into pieces by the blades. His blood splattered onto the walls of the blender. Some of it splattered onto the camera. I lost it. I vomited on the living room carpet but I kept watching. The way the blood splattered everywhere looked disturbingly realistic. It was like watching blood splatter in real life. Sandy just stood there watching Spongebob get blended into red and yellow goop. It cut to Sandy facing the camera. This time her face was completely gone. It showed Sandy’s “face” for about 13 more seconds and the screen faded to black.
The screen faded in and showed Squidward in a pitch black background. He was smiling his deformed smile and staring directly at me. In his hand (or tentacle) was a large glass of what I assumed Spongebob’s blended remains. A blue eyeball was floating in the mixture of blood, bones, and pieces of sponge. For about 6 minutes, it showed Squidward chuckling and staring at the camera. Every 11 seconds, he would take a sip from the wine glass. The episode then ended. There were no end credits or anything. That was the most fucked up shit I have ever seen. I turned off the TV and went to my room to take a nap. When I walked into my bedroom, a Squidward Tentacles plushie covered in blood was sitting on my bed. It leapt up and attacked me.